From what I understand, 1) and 2) work exactly as you would like by default:
http://vadikom.github.io/smartmenus/src/demo/
so I am not sure what might be wrong for you. Maybe you’ve used some custom CSS that breaks the features but I will need to look at your code to be able to tell for sure.
About 3) you could use a small mod posted here:
http://www.smartmenus.org/forums/topic/href-not-working-on-parent-as-expected/#post-3025
